you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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