in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
