So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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