roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
