she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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