It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize