he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
