Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
