we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
