That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
