i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
