? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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