You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
