OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
