sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
