it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
