Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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