I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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