Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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