five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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