Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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