so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize