Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Floor bacon is actually really good
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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