i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Drake has all the answers
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
