My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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