I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
