it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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