She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
