He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
