I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
