I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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