How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
