okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
