Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
