Whod you bang
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
love makes seman taste better
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?