I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.