white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.