I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™