he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You took a bar mat shot.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
