It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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