how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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