she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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