I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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