im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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