Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
