Sponge bath it is.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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