So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
