This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
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She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
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And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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