I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
