You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
