So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
