we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
