too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
