sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
