My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
