Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
