Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
