i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
