you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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